Writing this post is difficult. I hope that no one is hurt or offended because that is not what I want. I just really need to work through my emotions.
A baby is a blessing. But these feelings just keep bubbling up. It feels like I am having panic attacks.
Everyday I feel bombarded with "I'm pregnant" announcements, sonogram photos, baby bump photos... and it makes my heart sink. I should just be able to suck it up and be able to congratulate everyone. I should be able to walk past the baby section with out feeling like the breath has been knocked out of me. I should be able to go to baby showers without wanting to lock myself in the bathroom till its over. I should be able to hold a new baby, instead I am terrified someone will hand one to me.
I LOVE my friends!
I LOVE that the large majority of my friends are able to have children with little to no trouble!
BUT
I HATE that I cannot be in the same boat as them. It hurts.
3 comments:
Cyndi- thanks for sharing despite the difficulty. I just wanted to say that you are not alone. I too feel like I am not allowed into the special "mom" club or rite of passage.. Although my lack of entry is for a different reason, I still feel connected to your feelings. I don't have any brillant comforting words but felt compelled to say that you are not alone if that's any comfort.
Christine
I also want to thank you for sharing such an emotional moment, it takes a lot of courage. I wasn't previously aware of your challenges but now that I am, I'm sending all the prayers and luck I possibly can your way. Stay strong.
Colleen
Christine - Thank you so much for your words! You are in my prayers for comfort as well. Hope all is well with you and Jessica.
Colleen - I appreciate your prayers! Thanks for the kind words.
Post a Comment