Fellow IFer Blog

It has been awesome to find wonderful women who blog about their struggles to become parents because it helps me feel not so alone in this, although it still surprises me to be reading another blog and it is as if at times the words feel as if they have jumped out of my brain and on to the page. Its as if someone is reading my mind, the words I cannot find to put down into cohesive thought but someone else has. I may be the minority --- those who are reproductively challenged --- but it is some comfort to know I am not alone.


Words from another struggling to build a family:
"It's amazing that through everything we've been through, people still seem to be under the impression we're doing fine. It's not that we're putting up a good show, (because those that truly know me know better), but rather because most of them don't really want to know. Sure they'll ask, and I tell them exactly how things are... but they never seem to listen. Like, they listen to the words but refuse to accept the meaning. I can tell them and tell them that things aren't easy, that it'll be years before we become parents- if we become parents- and I'll tell them in great detail all the hurdles we'll have to cross, and yet their standard reply is, "Well, it will happen someday." Which is no support at all, and no help. Because there is no guarantee it will happen someday. The statement is used to pacify, to end the conversation, to say, "I don't know what to say, so I'm going to say nothing." And they never bring it up, never ask questions, never even to ask how we are... and then we can never bring it up again because they seem disengaged the entire time. And it's easy enough for someone to say that it'll happen when they aren't the ones putting themselves through hell time and time again, they aren't the ones coughing up every spare penny they have, it isn't their lives that have been altered forever. It's ours. All ours. Sometimes the weight of that is deafening."