The Saga Continues

The bleeding gave way to spotting and cramping day after day after day. Waiting 10 days until our next appointment was excruciating! Every day felt like an eternity. Every day of those 10 days included spotting, cramping, worrying, praying, hoping. The longer the spotting and cramping went on the more annoyed I got with it. I begged it to just go away! I was frustrated and scared that something would happen to #1 if it continued as it had been. Luckily for me a few of those days were spent being semi-distracted by a trip to visit TK to do wedding stuff. I made sure I was laying down as much as possible, taking it super easy and not over doing it.

Finally, after the longest week and a half ever, it was time to head back to HRC and have our appointment with Dr. W. We went over how I was feeling and what had been going since my last appointment. The spotting seemed to have subsided the day before our appointment! We keep on praying that it will stay that way!

Dr. W took a look to see what was going on inside and there was our little miracle measuring right on at 8 weeks 0 days. Once again we had the privilege of hearing that amazing little heartbeat pumping away at 167 beats per minute! Dr. W confirmed that #2 had not made it. The good news is that #1 was not harmed by any of the cramping or spotting.  

Measuring Junior

Checking out Juniors heartbeat

The appointment following this one is a biggie -- as long as everything still looks good and nothing major happens it will be 'graduation day' meaning that Dr. W would sign off on us and I would be transferred over to a good 'ol regular OB!

And of course I am still taking these every day:

                    - Progesterone lozenge: 3x a day

                    - Endometrin insert: 3x a day
                    - Estradiol tablet: 3x a day
                    - Vivelle Dot patch: time to stick on a new one every 3rd day

                    - Prenatal vitamin

                    - Folic Acid

                    - DHA

                    - Fish Oil

                    - Baby Asprin

Drama

I was taking a shower and didn't feel too good so I got out and dressed for bed. I laid down for a few minutes hoping it would pass but then I felt horrible pain in a straight line from my belly button all the way down my abdomen. I was frozen in the position I was in, it hurt too bad to even think about moving and I was afraid if I did move that it would make the pain worse so I just laid there. Praying. Lord don't take our babies.

This happened just 2 days after our visit where we got to hear the heartbeat for the first time. After about a half hour I got up to use the restroom and there was bright red blood. I was in shock. I was in denial. I went and laid back down. Praying. Lord don't take our babies.

At some point I fell asleep. In the morning I was still having some bleeding/spotting so I immediately called the clinic. I left a message for our nurse, G. She listened to my account of what happened and told me to lay back down she would consult with Dr. W and call me back in a couple minutes. I waited. Praying. Lord don't take our babies.

Nurse G. called back and said that Dr. W wanted me to be on bed-rest for the day, to only get up when absolutely necessary and that I needed to come in for another ultrasound first thing the next morning. I let my manager at work know what was going on and that I wouldn't be in the office for the day. Then I laid flat on the couch for the remainder of the day. Praying. Lord don't take our babies. I was restless all night willing the morning to come faster so that we could hurry up and get to the clinic for our appointment.

Finally it was time for us to get up and head to the clinic. Sitting in the waiting room was excruciating. The ladies at the front counter looked at me and asked if I was alright, I could barely muster a nod of my head. As I had spent much of the previous 24 hours going between feeling numb and crying so I am sure I wasn't looking so good.

Dr. W got everything set up quickly, asked how bad the bleeding/spotting was and then he made some notes in my chart. Finally it was time to take a look inside. We held our breaths steeling ourselves against hearing the worst. Then after a few moments he pushed a button on the monitor and we once again got to hear the woosh, woosh, woosh of our babies heartbeat. The 3 of us let out a collective sigh of relief. Dr. W then moved the camera around to get a look at the second sac. He told us it was collapsing. Our second little was not going to make it.

It is a strange and difficult place to be - elated because our little with the heartbeat was ok but grieving because we were losing the second little. I was sad, I cried for our little who would never be but thankful that we did not lose them both.

At just over 6 and 1/2 weeks we lost our second little. 

The good news from that appointment was that little #1 had a stronger heartbeat than just 3 days prior. 

Heartbeat @ 125!

Dr. W then took length measurements. 

Dr. W said that unless I began bleeding again, more than I had already or I was suddenly in a lot of pain again that he would see us again in 10 days. But, he did not expect anymore drama. This little was doing well and it would be our take-home baby. While we are thankful for his optimism and knowledge in this field it is difficult to block out the possibility that while this baby is currently thriving nothing is guaranteed. We are laying our trust in God that he will continue to protect and grow this precious little one whom we already love so very much.


Disclaimer: Everything is still going well with the pregnancy. We are well past when these events occurred.

Sneak Peek

Five days after our 2nd beta test we had our first ultrasound to see what was going on in there. Dr. W was looking for a few specific things such as a gestational sac, yolk sac, fetal pole and hopefully a heartbeat. Early in pregnancy the gestational sac and embryo change drastically every day, so being off by even a few days with dating can make a difference in whether or not the ultrasound should detect a heartbeat. Around 5 weeks a gestational sac becomes detectable, at 5.5 to 6 weeks the yolk sac should appear and around 5.5 to 6.5 weeks the fetal pole appears and it is possible to detect a heartbeat through a vaginal ultrasound. The fetal pole is the first visible sign of a developing embryo. This pole structure actually has some curve to it with the embryo's head at one end and what looks like a tail at the other end. The fetal pole allows for crown to rump measurements (CRL) to be taken, so that pregnancy dating can be a bit more accurate. The fetal pole may be seen at a CRL of 2-4mm and the heartbeat may be seen as a regular flutter when the CRL has reached 5mm. 

We had our ultrasound when I was 6 weeks 1 day so we expected to see a gestational sac, yolk sac and fetal pole. I made sure to tell Paul that at this point we may not see or hear a heartbeat and that we shouldn't worry about that at this point (but of course I was worried). 

Dr. W was able to see everything he should! Below you can see the fetal pole between the two + signs.

Dr. W then moved the wand around a little more and saw our second gestational sac, he was very cautious in telling us this because the sac was significantly smaller than the first one. He said we would wait and see but that he did not think our second embryo would continue to grow. Then he moved back to look at embryo number one and take some measurements.

Dr. W pushed a button on the monitor and all of a sudden a woosh, woosh, woosh came through... we heard the heartbeat for the very first time and saw the little flicker on the screen! He pushed some more buttons on the computer and it calculated that the heart was going at 106 beats per minute! He would have liked it to have been a little higher but since the heart could have begun contracting just day before he was not worried about it being just under "normal".  So long as the heartbeats kept going up by about 3 beats a day between then and our next appointment he said everything was looking good. 

Our first look at the heartbeat, the lines at the bottom of the screen show each beat. 

Double Time

One week after our original beta test, I went in for a second blood test. As I said the important thing to look at is doubling time. So you need at least two points of reference to determine if your numbers are good. Our second number was.....

Yes, you read that correctly 12,441 at 5 weeks since LMP

Generally doctors are looking for your hCG to double every 48-72 hours. My doubling time is at  43.32! So my doubling time looks fantastic! This is great news. The next big hurdle is an ultrasound to take a look and see if there is a heartbeat. 

And of course I am still taking these every day:

                    - Progesterone lozenge: 3x a day

                    - Endometrin insert: 3x a day
                    - Estradiol tablet: 3x a day
                    - Vivelle Dot patch: time to stick on a new one every 3rd day

                    - Prenatal vitamin

                    - Folic Acid

                    - DHEA

                    - Fish Oil

                    - Baby Asprin