10 hours

I am thinking the best thing right now is just to get these thoughts out in writing so maybe not so many will be bouncing around in my head. In about 10 hours I will be going in for my Beta test. I feel like I am going crazy inside.

I have been feeling "PMS/pregnancy symptoms" for about a week-week and a half now. However these could also be the side effects of all the drugs I have been on for this cycle. Things like cramping, stretching and pings of pain in my abdomen. I feel nauseous every now and again. Sometimes after eating I have mild acid reflux going on ( or that's what it feels like). I looked flushed constantly and feel hot but do not have a temperature.

This could just be normal symptoms for me before AF arrives, it could also be that I am starting to get sick. However I did google early pregnancy signs and all of these things popped up in people who ended up being pregnant.

I am praying constantly that it worked this time, that I am pregnant and everything will work out alright. Please Please Please!

I don't think I am very prepared for a negative result right now...

Owwwwch!

Today was IUI #4

The Mr. and I got up very early. I got ready, popped 800mg of Aspirin and headed to Kaiser. Handed in my specimen then sat in the waiting room trying to relax and read my book.

After about 45 min. I was called back and told they were ready to begin. I took a peek at the slide show and then prepared myself. The nurses came in and said as we had discussed they were going to try and first use a baby catheter and see if they couldn't accomplish the mission with it. Unfortunately they could not. Then with the regular one which has a guide wire she tried a couple times still with no success. Finally she had the new nurse hold down on the specula while she pulled the tongs and was able to VERY slowly make her way to where the ideal place for the specimen to be is. SHE GOT IN!!!

The past 3 IUI's the nurses who did them were very unsuccessful so I have been praying that this time would work and that with the new knowledge of how my insides are built the nurse would be able to make it happen.

During all of this it was extremely painful! I am not sure if the nurse was whispering or talking normally but I was so concentrated on my breathing and trying to not yelp in pain, and relax my abdomen I couldn't hear what she was saying. There was one point when I almost sat up and said all done, it hurts to bad. I knew that if I could just focus on my breathing that I could make it through. So that is what I did, deep breaths in and out counting very slowly.

I thanked them profusely for their effort and belief that they could get this done. Once the nurses left I began to cry and just thanked God over and over for allowing this part of my prayers to be answered. It is definitely a hurdle I am glad to be over, and to know that it is possible for their procedure to work.

Now begins the dreaded 2ww. I am supposed to go in on 12.23.09 for a blood pregnancy test which scares me. I am not sure that if it is bad news I could handle that so close to Christmas what with all the family events and whatnot. We will see. I suppose I would rather know, than be hopeful all Christmas only to find out the day after that their is bad news.

I pray that this is my one and only Clomid/Menopur cycle before getting pregnant. The side effects have been unpleasant and the daily needles began to hurt the last 4 days.

Please Lord let me conceive during this cycle!

Lucky 4

As scheduled I went in for another sono this morning. I was glad to see my regular ladies there once again. She checked me out and said I have FOUR follicles that could be viable, and a few other smaller that probably wont make it to ovulation. My left side is out doing it self with THREE follicles, a 20, 17.5 and 15. The one follicle on the right is around a 16.5. The three larger look like they should ovulate and to give the 15 a little more time to grow I will be doing my HCG shot late this evening.

My regular nurse said that after looking at my curved entrance to my uterus she doesn't think that the Cytotec or Laminaria will really help anything. She is fairly certain that the 3 Clomid cycles we did since the Cytotec didn't really help then, that it wont now and that it is because of the shape. She feels that nothing is closed off as they originally thought and that if they clamp differently she will be able to straighten out the path and not have to use those other medications.

So the plan is HCG tonight, then bright and early on 12.9.09 I will go in with my specimen at 7:30am. Before I leave my house I am to take 800mg of Ibuprofen to help with pain management. The nurse who noticed the curve to my uterus has said she wants to be the one to do my insemination this time around. She is going to try and use a baby catheter and see if she can get in, if not she will use the regular one with a guide wire and hope that by clamping it differently she will be able to have a straight shot.

I was assured that if she was unable to get all the way in that she would not count this cycle against the number of cycles that we can seek treatment.

______

OPK test this morning... very negative.

Insemination will not be on Monday like the fill-in lady thought could happen.

on the 11th and 14th day....

I had a sono apt. on Wednesday (12.2.09). The nurses checked made sure everything was going as planned. Played picture pages with my ovaries. Measured a few of the larger follicles. Said to continue with the Menopur 2 vials a night and return on Saturday morning for another look.

Today none of the regular nurses I see were in. I don't like it when I have to see a fill-in. They are no where as good, don't know much of the history and are curt. The red head that did the sono today only measured 2 follicles. Told me that I should be testing with an OPK on Sunday and would probably need to come in Monday morning for my insemination which meant I couldn't do the Cytotec or Laminaria as is planned since for the past 3 IUI's no one has been able to get all the way into my cervix. Today the two follicles that were measured were about a size 16 and 13 the rest she said were too small to worry about.

I must admit I am disappointed that there are only 2. I would have liked there to be 3-4 to give us a much greater chance. Hopefully with the Cytotex and Laminaria they will be able to get in during the IUI.

I am also experiencing quite a few of the side effects of the medication. During the Clomid I only had hot flashes. The Menopur is causing nasuea, constipation, perpetually tired and will start to nod off during in opportune moments but cannot always fall asleep when I want to. My abdomen also feels full and I can feel the ovaries working overtime. The shots have not been too terrible, they do hurt to have them done on the left more than on the right. My dear Bubba keeps apologizing every night after he has to stick me. Thing is it doesn't bother me to much. It is our prayer this is the last time we will have to do the injectibles because I am able to conceive, otherwise we will have to wait till after the holidays to start up the next round.